This Aint Funny Im Mike D and Im About Tog Et Money

Paul Revere

Beastie Boys

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Now here's a little story I've got to tell About three bad brothers you know so well It started way back in history With Adrock, (M.C.A.) and me (Mike D.) I had a little horse named Paul Revere Just me and my horsy and a quart of beer Riding across the land kicking up sand Sheriff's posse on my tail 'cause I'm in demand One lonely Beastie I be All by myself without nobody The sun is beating down on my baseball hat The air is gettin' hot the beer is getting flat Lookin' for a girl I ran into a guy His name is M.C.A., I said, "Howdy" he said, "Hi"  He told a little story that sounded well rehearsed Four days on the run and that he's dying of thirst The brew was in my hand and he was on my tip His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry and he asked me for a sip He said, "Can I get some?" I said, you can't get none! Had a chance to run He pulled out his shotgun He was quick on the draw, I thought I'd be dead He put the gun to my head and this is what he said,  "Now my name is M.C.A., I've got a license to kill I think you know what time it is, it's time to get ill Now what do we have here an outlaw and his beer I run this land, you understand, I make myself clear." We stepped into the wind - he had a gun, I had a grin You think this story's over but it's ready to begin  "Now I got the gun, you got the brew You got two choices of what you can do It's not a tough decision as you can see I can blow you away or you can ride with me" I said, I'll ride with you if can get me to the border The sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter I did it like this, I did it like that I did it with a whiffleball bat So I'm on the run, the cop's got my gun And right about now it's time to have some fun The King Adrock that is my name And I know the fly spot where they got the champagne." We rode for six hours the we hit the spot The beat was a bumping and the girlies was hot This dude was staring like he knows who we are We took the empty spot next to him at the bar M.C.A. Said, (Yo, you know this kid?) I said, I didn't, but I know he did (The kid said) Get ready cause this ain't funny My name's Mike D. And I'm about to get money. Pulled out the jammy, aimed it at the sky He yelled, (Stick 'em up!) and let two fly Hands went up and people hit the floor He wasted two kids that ran for the door "I'm Mike D. And I get respect Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect" M.C.A. Was with it and he's my ace So I grabbed the piano player and I punched him in the face The piano player's out the music stopped His boy had beef and he got dropped Mike D. Grabbed the money (M.C.A. Snatched the gold) I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold.

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Written by: Rick Rubin, Joseph Ward Simmons, Darryl Matthews Mcdaniels, Adam Keefe Horovitz

Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

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